The Day In The Life Of

Deep compressions etching their way into my life, like the rhythm of resuscitating a body caught in a sudden downpour. The movement is set and there is no turning back. The cave is filled with dark corners and lost souls trying to escape. The air is dank and the humidity is forming a cocoon around my body, weaving with each step I take. The hairs on my arms are standing straight up, like soldiers preparing for battle. Blocks of ice for hands, my entire body is turning numb. There is silence encasing itself in my surroundings. Dark figures shifting and transforming. A shadow is a hunter urging my blood. A blank wall is a manufacture wanting my thoughts. My own touch is the grip of a beggar asking for a few cents. My feet are bare, as if I was a newborn. A certain weightlessness is infiltrating me and giving me a sensation. Am I gliding towards the ceiling with each intake of oxygen? I’m freefalling through thick clouds of condensation, yet I’m standing on firm ground. I’m swimming in an ocean filled with rushing waves, yet not a single water source is near me.

Wake up. I tell myself over and over again, with a slight indication of importance. Wake up. No reaction, no change in scenery. The humidity is there and it’s getting worse. The weightlessness is there and I swear I’m floating. My own touch doesn’t even feel familiar anymore. It’s like my arms were someone else’s, yet somehow attached to my torso. There are no colors, just black and white and a few shades of red. The ceiling is painted the type of red you see after a murder scene in a horror film. I blink, trying to fix my eyesight and bring back the vibrant colors that I miss. Nothing. There is a feeling of comfort in this unfamiliar scenery. It feels so damn good and so refreshing. Maybe I should just wake up, or maybe this is reality and I’m just scared to accept it.

Sounds of the other sex are echoing off the walls, each one with a different pitch. Sounding so elegant, I’m tempted to run in their direction. I stand still though, like a Renaissance statue outside a majestic building. I widen my eyes, attempting to take in as much as possible. My eyelids feel heavy, like miniature weights were placed on each one. A sudden gust of wind brushes against my shoulders and it feels more humane then my own touch.

A unexpected change in the temperature catches my attention. The heat is overwhelming and I don’t know how to embrace it. It strikes me in the chest, like a ten pound bowling ball being shot out of a cannon. Drops of sweat begin to run down my forehead, like a Cadillac trying to outrun a string of police cars. It swerves and sways between my facial features, but eventually crashing into my lips, leaving no survivors. My entire body is on fire. There is heat being emitted from every pore on my skin. I stand though. I stand still and I accept it. I do not search for a well filled with reliving water. I do not search for a fire blanket to roll in. I wait for the humidity to return and weave another niche-like cocoon for me. I see the humidity around the corner staring at me, blinking it’s white eyes filled with clouds. Accept and wait.

The flames that were pealing away me skin like a Florida orange in the hands of a child, don’t exist. The heat that was making my body feel like a home made pizza in an oven, never materialized. Nothing changed, nothing was everything to me. I set my mind on something different, and I made it a reality. The humidity was getting on my nerves and boring me with the same weaving everyday. I wanted something new, something that could make me feel like I exist. The distance between reality and fiction is as long as we make it out to be. Those flames, they were real to me. That heat, made me panic.

The world is a blur, like water dropping on a painting, which creates a manifested and mysterious state. I still can’t see colors (only blue and red)and I still feel the weightlessness. The easiest way to explain it is to fly in a plane to the highest altitude. Jump out as if your life depended on it. Feel the wind blowing between your hair. Feel the clouds place a moisture on your skin. It’s like that. Except you’ll hit the ground and I’ll simply float way.

Something tells me to wake up, to open my eyes. My eyes are open and there is no waking up, there is only acceptance. My touch doesn’t feel humane, but maybe there is nothing humane about me. Not my skin, not my eyes, not my hair, not my lungs. Maybe to be humane is something completely different, something we have yet to comprehend. My limbs are numb and my touch is nonexistent. My body is deteriorating but my mind is strengthening. The nonexistent is my existence. I glance over at my veins and they are blue, as if someone slipped blue dye into the Amazon. I’ve consumed myself into thinking the shadows are hunters and vultures watching my every move. My eyelids have been shut this entire time, with the weights winning over my control. My vision is crystal clear (excluding the moments when the humidity creates fog). The room shifts and I’m hanging upside down. My insides shift and my stomach is in my throat. My heart is in my stomach. My lungs are working in reverse. There is unrest crawling on the ground, trying not to be seen. I’m tempted to grab it and embrace it. The sleeping pattern I have accustomed for so long has dug its own grave. Insomnia picks up the shovel and piles the leftover dirt over the grave (how generous).

It’s as if existence was being translated into something foreign and we had no idea how to embrace it. We fear it, we hate it, and we still haven’t realized there was a shift in the universe. We are always too busy for anything that doesn’t involve egomania or preliminary auctions of lust.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to live my existence with the weightlessness on my shoulder and the lack of senses as my sidekick.

Multitudes

We are the archers in the battle of human existence. The science behind our mentally and human capacity is slowly imitating those of beasts and savages. Human nature is said to be so high ranking and intellectual. Human corruption has been leaking in the system since the beginning of time like a virus injecting negativity and competition into the heart of every man. If looking at the historical texts of this world, we begin noticing that we have been dealing with the same issues for thousands of years. Poverty, corruption, over-population, selfishness, premature class system, and etc. The issue of poverty is look as something that sprung out of the ground during a rainy day and no one can comprehend where it came from. Poverty exist because we let it exist. There is an abundance of everything on this land. Naturally, there has always been enough of the necessities so that every man can survive comfortably. Why are there so many extreme cases of poverty seen in every corner of the world?

What is human nature? It has been determined that human nature has these certain characteristics and standards that everyone accepts as the “norm“. Human nature has had an evolution, just as much as the human body has had one. Sadly enough , what is defined as the human nature in the 21st century as become the worst form of evolutionary progress marked in history. We are technically born in good nature. As we are brought into this world, there is an innocence to our thoughts because we haven’t developed the awareness of the things around us. Observe a four year old and the way they look at things, the way they create their thoughts is of no accordance to how we think when we grow up in age. As we develop, our minds develop as well. We become more aware of the things circling our existence. Then we begin to wage wars with desires, temptations, greed, and competition with not only ourselves, but our fellow man. This is where we begin to see our downfall. Not the fact that we deal with issues that are unpleasant, but the fact that we let it occur and live hand in hand with these aspects that are tearing us apart.

Temptation is something that we many times place our morale in and we idolize things we tempt. Sexual aspects of our lives serve as temptations. Betrayal serves as a temptation. Temptation is a broad unit, and there are these subunits that define themselves into our lives. Our willingness to stay content is tested every day. We are content for a day or so, and afterwards, we are tempted to have more of these aspects that we mistaken for necessary. Our level of self control is becoming weaker by the day. We give into anything we are tempted by. Temptations are circling around us as vultures circling a dead corpse. That dead corpse is ours, ours to claim. The dead essence of human morale and purity. Temptations tiptoe into our lives, masked and unnoticed and those temptations lead to bigger and greater issues we need to come to terms with.

Our ancestors created the poverty we live in. We are creating the poverty our children are going to live with. We claim we are content with our lives and how things are developing. That is a lie and we might as well call ourselves the greatest liars to walk this earth. We are content for a day or so, and then we want more. We want a bigger house, a bigger car, a prettier wife. We strive for a certain something, and after we get that certain something, we want more of it or something more valuable. If we were content with the bare necessities, enough for our survival, then poverty wouldn’t exist. If we began sharing our possessions, our food, our shelter with each other, there will be no poverty. There has always been enough of everything to go around, but we have become greedy savages in which we hold onto things we don’t need. We grip and hold tight of those things and not let anyone have it.

Wars have been fought over religion, territory, glory, revenge, and every other excuse we can conjure. It seems the only way to solve an issue is to kill the other side faster than they kill us. Surely, we live our lives thinking that wars are for those of nations, not for the common man. We wage wars with each other every day, every second. We are always finding new ways to attack each other, whether it be with words or blows. We stand there, face to face with another human being and we decide. We decide if this person will become our friend or enemy. Many times, even if choose to become friend with this stranger, we find ourselves back in the same spot as in the beginning. Betrayal and turning one’s back on a friend is becoming a trend. Fights and arguments sparking over the stupidest reasons and afterwards, we create these excuses to somehow make our attacks moral. Human nature has gotten to the level where we feel that we have the right to look each other and determine what kind of person they are. Walking down the street, we see someone dressed differently and they are someone that isn’t fitting to our standards. If we see someone that speaks different, then they cannot be trusted, they are foreigners and out to destroy us. No one is wanting to destroy each other because we are all too busy destroying ourselves.

It has become a pathetic world when we walk down the street and if someone looks at us the wrong way, then they are wanting to fight. We live our lives in a focus to build up this reputation. We want to glow gold, we want others to look at us and think “perfection”. We don’t want to be seen weak. Whenever asked about our day, we always reply with “great” ,even if things are horrible and catastrophic. We want to be tough, we want to be glorious. We are more concerned with ourselves and the way we are viewed in the eyes of these spectators. We only ask about each other’s day so we can talk about our own. We only perform favors, so in the future they can repay us.

The world has been inverting and turning upside down and all we seem to do is worry whether about ourselves and no one else. There is a destruction approaching. The human nature and the human mind has already been taken over by everything we hate. What is next? Are we going to begin destroying ourselves? It has already begun. Look at your life and look at the choices you make and what you place importance on. We are victims and we are the attackers. We are the hunter and we are the preys. We are being raped by ourselves and it’s slowly degrading our existence. You are imperfect, I am imperfect. You are weak, I am weak. You aren’t money, you aren’t fame, you aren’t reputation. There is a gun in your hand. Unconsciously, the only person we can point it at is ourselves. What do we see when we look at the gun? We see ourselves pointing the weapon at every man, woman, and child. Thinking we are destroy them, thinking we are doing glorious things with these attacks. The attacks are aimed at our hearts and one day, the beating of every heart will synchronize and stop at the pull of the trigger.

Look at your life. Recall the destruction made by your words, your actions, and your motives. Your excuses won’t last long, they will surface one day and the entire world will place a bag over your head. The world will laugh as the noose is placed around your neck. There is no good in betrayal, there is no good in greed. There is only evil, begetting more evil. We will be counting down our demise, unless we find a way to end this cycle of destruction.

The clock ticks, ticks, ticks. Every hour, another excuse. Every minute, another selfish move. Every second, another judgment.

Ticking away as we speak…..